VioletCrush

WHAT A WEEKEND

2004-11-21T19:42:00.000-08:00

I have decided it is time to leave the safety of my mom and dad's house (for the 4th or 5th time now). I have found a place that I really love. But- I am scared to death. I really never thought that leaving would be so hard- I mean when I was younger I'd just up and go. Have lived in more apartments/ houses/ shitholes than I can count on my hands and feet. Why am I so anxious. I told my mom and I cried. It's just not healthy for me to stay here anymore. My mom is my best friend. That is just not right. I hope everything works out. I hope I can do this without failing. I hope I get this place w/ this very cool girl who seems really down to earth. Well- have a swell evening all- I think I might start crying again.

2004-11-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

This is a more current picture of a very technically challenged woman. I tried to add buttons to my page so that linking would be easier, and also look better, but I failed. Next picture will have tears.

I want to link a site I think is pretty cool

2004-11-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

But- god knows- I am so new to this and cannot figure out how. So here is the link I just copied and pasted into this post. http://piggypage.blogspot.com/ It's a very unique page and it has inspired me to try and experiment more w/ my blog. Any questions or comments you have about my page would be greatly appreciated. Advice is always welcome.

So he asks, "What are you thinking?"

2004-11-17T08:19:00.001-08:00

Well, now I am thinking what a girlie question to ask. What kind of question is that. Is silence so uncomfortable that we are compounded to ask such retarded questions. I thought that question was only asked by women when they are feeling ignored by their significant other; then I know that is a popular question to ask after sex, and you don't want to know the answer to that. He asks that dreaded question, and mind you this is a platonic friend- so it was not after sex, "Beth, what are you thinking?" Then I blurt the truth, "Well, I don't know now that you broke my train of thought, but you know if I REALLY wanted you to know what I was thinking, wouldn't I be talking and sharing such thoughts with you? That's a really fuckin' dumb question to ask.... hey why don't you ask that to your girlfriend after you just had a rockin' love session. She'll probably think it's great that you want to know what she is thinking. Actually, maybe not a good idea, your girlfriend may have a difficult time with that one. Remember, she's the girl everyone wants to fuck...." then I shut up. Thank god I stopped there. He walked out. Haven't heard from him since. Guess he really did not want to know what I was thinking, and yes- his girlfriend is that hot, which freaks him out, cause he is not anywhere near her caliber of looks. But- he has cash. So why is he all pissy. Men, they really are a lot more like us than we think. I just still don't understand why I am single. Oh- maybe cause of the whole too honest bit.

2004-11-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

Scared? No?

What's the big deal?

2004-11-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

I am terrible at the whole cell phone deal. Some of my friends are die-hard cell phone addicts. Their phones have more features than this computer. They take pictures, make movies, send messages, get the weather in Beijing.... all these things seem utterly ridiculous to me. I use my phone to make calls and send an occasional text message, and I only use the text feature because some friends only respond in that fashion. Well, the cell phone has replaced the phone book. I no longer have phone numbers in a book- they are all stored into this phone which is so small I lose it at least once a week. Then I panic. EVERY number that I use is in that phone. What if I never find it? How will I get in touch with anyone? How will they get in touch with me? Then I realized- I need a phone book. I have to write everything down in case said situation occurs. So- as I go through all the numbers I have in my phone, I come across another problem. Who the hell are all these people? How did I get this number? Mike from Luna? Who is that? Is he someone who deserves a spot in my new phonebook? Have I ever called this person? Has he ever called me? Was I at Luna Lounge and met him there? Even worse- did I hook up with this guy? Should I call and find out who this person is? What if he has no idea who I am? What if he has a girlfriend who answers the phone? Why can't this be easier? So- now I have to go through and decide who is important enough for the phone book, and that is not right. If someone was doing the same thing and came across my name, would I want to be shunned from someones phone book. This is retarded. I am throwing out the phone book. I am leaving everything as is, and if I lose the phone and contact with everyone who is saved in the memory of this phone so be it. If they want to talk to me they'll find a way to reach me. Or not.